Lark

When I was small, I had talent in singing. They — the teachers, the students, the parents — gave me a nickname: ‘lark’.

I arrived in Oxford last September. My Airbnb host, Max, wanted to try a juggling group, so I went with him. After the juggling, we went to the pub. One juggling man named Dylan said that the next day was the international folk music group, Starling Sessions, in Old Fire Station. He asked me if I wanted to join, and I said, ‘Why not?’

The next day, I came to Starlings, singing and playing music. They are so creative. They encourage people from different countries to bring a song, a folk song. One coordinator Lauren, said she wanted a harvest song, so after the session I told her, ‘Oh, I have a tea song — a tea-picking song. But I'm not sure whether it's good for Starlings, because it's a little hard, it's a little opera. And in a Chinese dialect.’

But Lauren said, ‘Shelley, trust us, we can do that!’ That night, Max and Anaelle, my house mates, came to support me. Starlings said I taught the song very efficiently, and they learned the song very quickly. And my work is also related. I'm a Chinese teacher and sharing my culture is a passion. Maybe my teaching experience helped with teaching the song.

My dream when I was very little was to be a singer. But, you know, at that time, parents don't think that music is the right way for children, so they didn't support me. I just went the normal way — to high school, to university. I gave up my dream.

But now I feel I realised my dream in another way!

Here I can stand on the stage to share my culture, a song from my own country, and the band perform for me. When you sing, the Starlings accompany you, support you. That makes me feel so good, like I'm a star. But when the others sing, they are the star! We support them. And you know, John, the other coordinator, when you sing, oh, his eyes are full of trust for you, smilingly. It makes every singer feel so relaxed and confident.

Every week at Starlings we have one or two snack makers. I did it once during the Chinese Spring festival, because it’s very encouraged to celebrate important festivals from different countries. I prepared Chinese spring rolls, fried rice and dumplings. I asked my Chinese friends to help me. We did a lot of food and people at Starlings enjoyed it.

I think for a foreigner here, it's hard to integrate and to make friends with native people. It's also hard because of the language problem. I feel proud of myself, that I can integrate so quickly, but I know that's a result of the Starlings. They always help me and introduce me to their friends: ‘This is Shelley, she did a tea song for us.’

Also, some of them do some parties. I have counted, during this one year, I attended eighteen parties! Different kinds of parties: Christmas parties, boat parties, attic parties, park parties. It's my first time doing parties like this: people grab a bottle and some chips, get together, talk, and of course play music, sing, and dance. In China, we don't do parties; for birthdays, we like to go to a restaurant to eat or something like that. It’s quite different. I also did two parties at my home, one hot pot party, and another time a Chinese pancake party.

I think the pub is also a very important part of our life here. Starlings will choose some place for people to know more about each other, to care about each other and to ask, ‘How are you recently?’ And if you are not good, ‘What are your problems?’ And working with some suggestions. I have confronted many problems living here: flat problems, school problems, choosing a school for my child. They all gave me a lot of suggestions. We chat about everything, and have lots of jokes, though I always laugh five minutes later than the others! It's a very enjoyable time.

People need chatting, especially for foreigners here, sometimes our family is not here, we are lonely, we need chatting. And chatting in Chinese and chatting in English is a different feeling. Chatting in Chinese you feel maybe you are still in China, but chatting in English you feel, ‘Oh, exactly, I’m in the UK, I'm in a new environment. Oh, I'm confident now, I can adapt to the life here, I can talk to foreign people. I can do it!’ So, yeah, that feeling will make you much better, and make you want to live here for longer.

We also have a friendly helping group — these people are former Starlings, Starling’s friends or just related with Starlings. They join that friendly helping group. Last time my bicycle was stolen and I sent a message there, people gave me some advice. And once I had a problem with my water meter. The bill of the water and electricity was so high and I couldn’t understand. They even help me if I want to find a good restaurant, everything, tiny things we can ask there.

I have a son, he’s ten years old. His name is Key. He’s a music lover even more than me! He played piano for three years in China, and when we came here, he started ukelele at school. In February, he came to Starlings with me. Bill is a Starling, and he plays ukelele, too. One day, he played in a festival, and he said, ‘Key, come up, come up! Let’s do it together.’ That was Key’s first performance! I was so excited, and so, so proud, and so moved.

Sometimes we perform for charity. We have been to the Kassam Hotel, a hotel for refugees, two or three times to perform for them. We did some songs, and the guests were cheering, and we invited them to dance with us, to sing with us, and some of them came to the city centre to join our Starlings after that. Some of them hadn’t been to the city centre before. We also did a gig to raise awareness of the need for more hosts, to prevent homelessness among asylum seekers.

This made me feel so lucky, that I could contribute to charity in Oxford. Many friends here are doing volunteering and charity work, and many Starlings. I also started volunteering at the Old Fire Station last December, and I was familiar with the Old Fire Station because I do Starlings. When I pass reception and they say, ‘Hey, Shelley!’ it’s like I’ve come home and it makes me feel like: Shelley knows everyone, right? It gives me a sense of belonging.

If I didn’t have Starlings, I wouldn’t know these helpful, interesting, creative people. With Starlings I feel happier. You know, a lark is a bird. A couple of months ago, they told me a starling is a bird, too.