Higher meaning

I remember Hidden Spire over Covid, the emails and that. Then there was Atlantis, a big old production thing with music and everything. It was huge, the whole building was all on it! I done a little bit of writing and played a character I wrote. It was really open to people to just get involved and collaborate – some people done a little bit, other people done loads. Which I think is like the spirit of Hidden Spire and the Collective. It feels like a whole lifetime ago now. I’ve had a baby since then and lots of things have happened.

There was a break and the first new one I did was last year. It was a poetry thing with Rawz, and I really enjoyed that. Rawz done like a map of Oxford and all these poems about it. It was really an amazing piece. And he led this group writing poetry about ‘our Oxford.’ There was some really good writing exercises. I liked going out – we’d go around and look at places. Even if you walk past somewhere every day, usually you’re just going somewhere else. To actually, like, breathe it in was really good. My first memories of Oxford are the old prison. I used to come because my dad was in, when it was a prison. So I thought, ‘that’s the first place I’ll go.’ Just look at the building, write everything down you see. That really helps afterwards, cos you've got so much material. Some of it, you think, why am I even writing this, and then afterwards, you think: ‘I can put that in with that, and that in with that.’ Each week we'd look at a different thing, and he'd have different writing exercises. We’d have a little chat. I think everyone really enjoyed it. We all got really into it. It was good, just writing about Oxford, like our own spin on it.

At the end we went to the printing press in the Bodleian Library and we done these posters. It was really cool just being in there, these really old printing presses and just looking at all the stuff. We took a line from a poem and an image and put them together. I think maybe we could have done a little bit more time on that – there’s actually quite a lot of work involved! But it was good.

I'd like to write more than I do. I’ve got a two-year-old and I haven't got any family. It’s hard to find the time and space. I find if I’m doing Hidden Spire I do more writing. I find the time. It's usually, like, three in the morning! But I find it somehow. Or sometimes, I'll start doing it but then I feel bad – like, I look at my little boy playing with his cars on his own. You can't win whatever you do!

Having the space really does mean the world, actually. I love Hidden Spire. All the different people. There's a few people I know from Crisis, and then some other people who had nothing to do with Crisis. It's just a nice atmosphere. We all have a laugh and just get into it really. I think often when people leave Crisis, there's not a lot of creative outlets. There's quite a lot of creative stuff in Oxford, but either you’ve got to pay lots of money for it, or it's to do with, like, a service, and if you're no longer qualifying for that service or something... But there is Hidden Spire, which is like a pound to join – or you pay what you can. It's lovely. They always provide good food. Snack stuff, and sometimes they get proper food in from downstairs. You're always well fed.

I was involved in two last year. We made quite an arty book with Etain about ‘Hidden Oxford’. I did it about graveyards - Osney, and St Sepulchre in Jericho. Everyone done really different things. The variety was good. And we were all so stressed out, just trying to get it done and all getting like, ‘Oh my God, how are we gonna...’ And somehow it always gets done. A couple months later, we done another writing one with Rowan. We had a reading, and I done a couple poems, and they sold the books. It's quite nice! You’re looking through, seeing yours in an anthology.

There’s lots of energy and discussion, but everybody is really respectful of each other. It's amazing, actually. Like, that is so good. I'm always really excited when they've got one coming up. It gets me back into doing creative things, and gives me, like, a bit of higher meaning away from just the drudge of cleaning. Just being with people, creating with people. I mean, in everyday life, it's hard to find that really.

For me, Hidden Spire does sort of epitomize everything about the ethos of the Old Fire Station. Creativity, accessibility, inclusivity, a lot of assistance, food. Somewhere else wouldn't think of feeding people because they couldn't imagine that somebody might not have any food in their house. But obviously here, they understand more about struggles that people do face. And how creative people can be as well, you know? Because lots of places, they're quite patronizing. But people can do amazing things, if they just have the space.

There’s something about this building. Lots of places you see them write their ethos, and it's like, crap, really. But I think OFS do try and practice it as much as possible. They try and include people and think about how they can improve things. Like, truly listening and helping people. And I think a lot of that comes from Crisis, but I like how there's the arts side as well. Most Crisis places probably out there are just about the practical. And obviously the practical, you ain’t getting anywhere without it, but I don’t know... It’s all well and good being housed but there's more to life in’t there? You know, you can still be dead on the inside. And I think that creating stuff really helps. It helped me, but I think it's helped a lot of people get a whole other perspective on life. Like, even when bad things happen, you can use them. And it's just getting into art. Like, there's so many things here I wouldn't probably have ever really looked at. And then you've got the confidence to go in other places, even if some of the staff look at you funny, like: you are actually allowed to be there!

It helps with confidence, just doing positive things with people. I do feel happy when I'm doing this. I think I’m usually a bit cheerier. I get excited whenever there's another one. I always feel sad when they end. There's some of the same faces who do it a lot, but you get new people each time. And it's nice, because you wouldn't necessarily know where everyone comes from. Just everyone with all their different experiences. You’ve got academics, you’ve got street people, you’ve got everything! Just sitting around, chatting about everything, listening to each other. And they ask us, like, what we want to do. They ask everyone and then everybody has a million ideas! By the time the artist’s there, there's a clear plan, and you go in with some kind of an idea of what it's about. It's great. I do love it. It’s one of my favourite things, like: ‘Oh Hidden Spire’s coming back, oh lush!’

I think I'm more confident. Because I used to be terrible at, like reading my own poetry. I just couldn't do it like, literally. It’s so vulnerable innit? It was around certain audiences, like in a theatre or something, that would be the worst. Because I’d think, ‘Oh, my God, there's all these posh people looking at me.’ On the street or something, I could do that. But now, I'm like ‘Why the hell are you worried about these people?’ I think it's also a societal thing, you know? Society looks at stuff like poetry, a lot of it, like ‘it's a waste of time.’ Or, like, ‘why are you doing that?’ So that plays into it as well. And then of course it's not a waste of time. That actually really annoys me now, when people are all like, ‘why do you want to sit there, painting, you could be doing something important.’ Like what? Creating something that you know shows something like, a moment – it's so much more important than, what buying stuff? All those things, which, what are they really doing?

After Crisis, I think sometimes people struggle because they've gotten so much out the classes, and then when they've moved on, they haven't got that. But then there's this, which anyone can join. And then for people who've never been homeless, you know, lots of people want to do things. And in general, the whole world should do more things like Hidden Spire. They might find people are happier, maybe don’t hurt each other so much, you know?