Space to work with my soul

I moved to Oxford in May ‘22. My partner is Italian, and I came to join him. I'm from Brazil, but I have an Italian passport, but after Brexit, I could not work here. We went to Italy for the summer, and when I came back in September, we got a civil partnership so I could get a visa, and this started my real relationship with Oxford. When I arrived, Oxford was not that kind to me, let's say. So, I'm a very open person and I guess it's easy for me to interact and have relationships, and I tried to meet people, tried to chat and go to places by myself, and I didn't get responses. It was difficult, so September, October, November, December were difficult, being in a new country, a new city and trying to develop relationships.

In Brazil, I produced a few festivals, toured a lot, and worked in very big events, such as international concerts, the World Cup, the Olympics, and the Paralympic Games. I was one of the managers for the torch relay in Brazil. I thought that I had very good English, and I never thought about not being from a privileged background. Once I arrived here, however, the way people looked at me made me feel my English was not good enough, and when applying for positions, it felt different to be categorised as a minority group. I was an immigrant, but I didn't arrive here feeling that I was in a weak position. But as time passed, I started feeling weaker and weaker, the way that people spoke with me and the way that I felt that people saw me in society. So that's why I say that Oxford was not really welcoming in a way. I was applying for positions, waiting for the visa to be ready. I saw Offbeat and the producer position, and it seemed a perfect start because it was in Oxford, and it seemed something I knew that I had all the knowledge I needed. I applied and did the interview, and the day that I went to Rome to get my visa, Alex called me to say that I got the position, so it was perfect timing. I was hired to run ‘23 and then to re-launch the festival for ‘24. In 2023, we did a basic festival, applications were already open when I started. We didn't do anything different from past years, I just had to make the festival happen. We changed a lot for 2024, which I'm very proud of, and it was a totally different festival for 2024.

That's where OFS had a very important role in my life. I started to understand British people while working here and understand how the country works, its bureaucracy, and what's the right way to deal with things. I think there were a few doors there, and now I understand how to open them. I listened to phrases, "I want to do this." "No." "Why not?" "No." "But, why can't we do it?" "Because this is not the way we do things here." "But why is this not the way you do things here?" I feel sometimes I have to be very pushy to make small changes. Sometimes, first there's a 'No', there's a few 'No’s' until it can be a 'Yes.’ And it's difficult to understand what level do you question the 'No’s' until what level you do not because that is the best way of doing something. If I hear 'No’s' I would like to understand the reasons, as it gives me knowledge. OFS was really welcoming to make me understand these barriers, so I feel that Offbeat, and having OFS behind it, helped me integrate into society. I always say, and it's true, that the experience of working with Offbeat was life-changing for me. I had the opportunity to be part of the arts community. I am extremely thankful because it was really important for me in an emotional as well as a professional way. 

My experience with 2024 was totally different from ‘23. Firstly, I already had done ‘23, so I knew how things worked in OFS and I knew the city, but also Alex left, and she was the one who was carrying the Offbeat project since the beginning. In one of the meetings in December ‘23 we were thinking about: what is Offbeat? We wanted Offbeat to help local artists make their next step. I felt that there was space for me to create a better festival artistically and to propose different things. And OFS had my back to make some change. I had space to say, "What do you think? Let's add this. Let's make this different," and I heard lots of 'Yes’s.’ I changed how the budget was distributed and managed to have more supported artists. For the main programme, we offered applicants to choose if they wanted to perform on a fee or a box office split. We had a diverse panel selecting performances for the first time this year. I met with them and based on their views, I built the festival programme.

In 2023, when I read applications, you could see that people were struggling to communicate exactly what they wanted when talking about technical needs or how to present their ideas. So we added in 2024 a series of workshops to help local artists. We offered workshops on how to market, budget and tour a show, basic technical, light and sound techniques, and how to write a risk assessment and a technical rider. We offered artists free rehearsal space as in-kind support. We had a huge amount of positive feedback from the artists, and I think that it was because there was a personal relationship with each one of them. We had lots of case stories this year, people felt that they had help and support to be able to believe in themselves, so it was a very successful project that artists told me, "I would never have done it if I didn't have Offbeat's support." 

When we opened applications, we spent lots of time trying to make people welcome to apply, to break barriers. There was a day that I was at the OFS café the whole day, in a welcoming environment, available if people wanted to talk about their projects before applying. There was an artist who came and stayed for over an hour talking and developing her ideas with me, and after that, she felt confident to write her application. Then the panel thought that this application was worth supporting. She had all the support and came to every single workshop and it was a success. This is what makes us want to work with the arts, right? We wanted to make Offbeat more meaningful, and for sure, we're not there yet, but many artists felt that they had space to experiment and develop their work.

We made the festival more inclusive, we had 150 artists, performances from different backgrounds, cultures, countries and lots of people over 50. There was space for me to bring diversity of ideas. I guess I was hired also because of my background and my cultural difference and experience. I felt people trusted me. I had freedom, support, knowledge, and liberty to propose things. I think I had space to work with my soul.

There's always things to change, things that have been done always the same way, and to make a more diverse place inside the work team, but the most important thing is that you think about it, and there's space to talk and to understand it together. And that's definitely something I found here. Things can be done differently, like, for example, having a party at the end of Offbeat. It was something that I personally wanted to do. It was a personal fight, let's say! I felt like we're doing this amazing 2024 festival, it was much bigger than ‘23, we changed a lot of things, and I got really involved, personally, emotionally and professionally. Our aim was to do a festival that supported artists, where there was care for the artists, a relationship. We had 42 events in total, in Offbeat this year. I wanted to finish in a commemorative way that people celebrated all their achievements and all the work! And it was amazing! Together we found a way that everyone was comfortable in how to do it. I think people really had fun, danced and celebrated the closing.

Unfortunately, Offbeat is not a permanent position. In 2023, when it was finishing, I was like, "What will I do? I will not find the same environment. I don't want to leave!" But I already felt much more secure of myself, I felt my self-esteem was higher. I started applying for other things and I could add the experience… that I worked in Oxford, I produced art in Oxford, I dealt with the City Council, with a budget from the Arts Council and met arts organisations, and artists, and drama groups, and then I got other positions. So, I'm really thankful because I did all this through working here. Offbeat means much more than work for me. It has a huge role in my life. It was a welcoming environment to question, understand and make mistakes. To learn the way of working, the way of society and its bureaucracy, to take into my life to make me a better human being, and a better professional. It’s much more than money and a freelance position. It gives a sense of belonging, and it rebuilt my self-esteem from when I first arrived and the way I felt. OFS is a very special place in Oxford as one of the main institutions trying to make things different. There's lots of effort in working in a different way. I see lots of effort and change coming from different sides of the institution.